BEWARE SUICIDE IS GETTING FASHIONABLE


I heard the sad news of DJ XGee's suicide and I believe I have to tell my story because it may help somebody. I have learnt that the darkest hour is the loneliest place in the world.

When I heard depression as a result of a failed marriage was the likely cause I felt I needed to speak out.

A while ago my life was turned upside down. From having a marriage and a home with two kids, a thriving career and business. Everything was gone.. I had hit rock bottom. My wife and kids had moved to another end of town, our issues were not fresh and thinking back it was probably the best move for us and the kids at the time.

I felt like such a failure because I messed up big time at one of the biggest private jobs I had gotten, one which was supposed to take me to the next level... Everything was gone. I was a mess of a man.

A house that was a home was now one full of echoes. I remember my neighbour passing by my bedroom window on Dec 31st, noticing I was sitting, staring into space telling me to go to church for a crossover service. I really wasn't interested, I was numb. I stopped recording and was slowly dying inside.

I remember parking on Eko bridge and wanting to jump into the water. I wasn't concerned about the cold, dark, watery grave.. but till today something prevented me.. and it wasn't fear.

Slowly things picked up and I'm in a better place now. From the brink of suicide to self-rediscovery and happiness has been a journey. Please don't judge anyone who commits suicide... don't judge anyone in depression over a failed marriage. I really wish I had written this earlier and DJ Xgee had seen this and gotten in touch. It still hurts sometimes.. it's not easy waking up alone. However it's not as bad as it used to be, trust me it gets better.

I started 'Calibre' a vehicle where men going through various situations can come together and open up. Please inbox me for details and feel free to call me should you have issues you are dealing with. I'm not a counsellor, but I offer a listening ear and advice from a perspective of one who went through hell and has battle scars to show for it.

Bayo Oyenuga/DM 03/01/2019

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